Flash Fiction Challenge

So another of these flash fiction challenges and this weeks theme is a damn cool one. Basically you start a story this week next week someone else will pick it up and this’ll carry on to the end of February. Again thanks a million Mister Wendig for these challenges. I hope this is enjoyable and be as cruel as possible about criticism.

Writing, Murdering And Other Questionable Careers

I often wondered what I was doing with my life. Whether a career writing about morally questionable teens was the best career choice then I reminded myself there was better times be discussing philosophy, the revolver in my face was the priority now. Behind the gun was a man, lanky and standing over six feet tall, with a balaclava disguising his probably weird face (I wasn’t spiteful I swear).

“You are Martin James, Right?”. His voice was croaky, most likely a heavy smoker. I knew who he was already.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was not?”. This was my time to stall and attempt to escape. The room was almost pitch black, the only light was the moon illuminating a small section of the living room. The front door was slightly hanging from the hinges, probably from when my intruder kicked it down. If he was even slightly distracted I might be able to make a break for it but where would I go?. I’m wearing a pair of godamn pj’s and my knife were still on my bedside locker alongside my phone.

Balaclava looked agitated now now, I could make out the gun trembling in his arm. If I could talk my way out if this……

“So are you at least gonna tell me why your here?” I was already 90% sure. Over two months ago I may have attempted murder him with the sharp bit of a fork in a van. He looked at me and I could tell through the mask he had a quizzical look on his face. He pulled back the hammer on the revolver and I heard the faint click and then everything happened.

The bullet buried itself in the wall behind me. I gave a sharp kick his leg and he buckled and fell to his knee. The next bullet scraped across the shoulder of my pj’s, leaving a visible tear. I winced and kneed the man in the jaw, sending him spiraling to his back. Wasting no more time I hopped over the groaning man and picked up the revolver.

Only two bullets left, the man didn’t even bring a fully loaded gun!. I couldn’t stifle the laugh and giggled, it was at this moment I realized there was a screeching ringing noise in my ear, most likely caused by the two bullets fired like a minute ago. This for some reason made me laugh more, I could sense Balaclava staring at me in shock.

I turned around and sure there he was, sweat running down his neck trembling in his boots. This is when I composed my giggling.

“You are really terrible at murder you know that?”. I said, wiping the barrel of the gun with a white cloth.


Was his simple yet effective reply

“Excuse me but if I have the decency to not shoot you where you stand you should at least the respect to answer me”.

“S…s…s sorry” he squeaked.

Ten minutes later and I was sorted. A nice heavy rope held his arms at his waist, he looked almost comfortable sat on the couch. The balaclava was on the floor and I was pleasantly surprised. He was almost handsome except for the three small hole shaped scars on his cheek but otherwise his matted hair was cute in a way. I liked this man, quite a shame things went the way they did.

“So were gonna have a talk” I proclaimed as I hopped onto the chair opposing to him, this was going to be a lovely time I thought.
“Okay…..” His mind trailed off as the sentence faded away, he must’ve noticed the gun lying on my lap.
“So why did you come here tonight?” I asked with my finger tightening on the trigger
He noticed then and his face and pants darkened alongside each other. I wasn’t suprised, just disappointed.

“Look mate, I’m not gonna kill you (wasn’t really sure about that yet). We had a mishap a while ago but I thought that was sorted.” He looked sort of hopeful which made me happy. I did like to make people happy it gives a nice fuzzy feeling in the stomach.

“If you give me a good reason for calling here tonight and quite rudely” I gestured at the door with the gun “I think we could be good friends”.

“Why do you do it?”

And with that I felt a small tiny ounce of anxiety. People aren’t meant to question me. Its something different, its something dangerous, its something good?.

I smiled and answered.

” If my life was a book it would be written by a shitty author who would’ve just finished the first quarter and then asked someone else to do it but then again whats the chance of that?”.

THE END(sort of)



This is my first flash fiction challenge of the year and I’m I don’t know how I feel about it yet to be honest. The challenge was proposed by the wonderful Chuck Wendig and was pretty simple. Using a random character generator (D&D based of course) we had to write a story either completely based, half based or use elements of the character we got. I ended up with a Gnome fighter in a maximum security prison who’s just trying to get by. With elements of attempted comedy I present The Gnome and The Small Woman

She sat down on the rotten matress, her hands interlocked and her eyes focused on the gnome standing across from her. “I don’t want to kick your face in you know that” she whispered. “I’m sorry sweetie I couldn’t here you from down there” the gnome chuckled, his name was Ardine and he reveled in mocking someone shorter then him. Wasn’t very often he got the chance with him being two feet tall and weighing 10 stone. He was more used to giving then taking abuse.

The woman smiled and sat up. “My name is Meredith and I must confess something, I was once a human but one of your kind cursed me….. A terrible terrible curse indeed”. She flicked dirt down from her cloth shirt and continued. “Look around Ardine, we are both in one of the biggest maximum security prisons in the kingdom. Your here because of indecent exposure”.

The gnome started to protest but was shushed by the six centimeter tall woman instantley. “No No Ardine, its my time to talk now, anyway as I was saying, you are here for flipping your stuff and ill give you one chance to guess why I’m here”.

“Indecent exp-”

“Ill stop you there before you embarrass yourself further, I’m here for murder.”

The silence in the room was suddenly enveloped by a quieter sensation.

“Yeah I know, who would’ve thought that I Meredith Sarrih murdered a living being, and yes it was a gnome. Quick death of course, dropped a hammer on his head from a high shelf.”

The quieter sensation was enveloped by an even quieter sensation.

The gnome could almost feel the the blood rush from his head and for once not to his nether regions. “Are you gonna kill me”

Meredith bit her lip and looked up at the sweaty, overweight lump of a man. “Probably, I might just rough you up a bit but I don’t really know yet”.

And within the second Meredith ha leapt from the floor and was sat on Ardine shoulder. “Do you think I should kill you?” She whispered his ear before hopping back down to the floor. “How….. How did you……”. Meredith looked up once again with her big brown eyes and smiled “theres advanteges and disadvantages to everything”.

And with that quick remark the gnome attacked. His face mal forming into a caricature of living tomato. His first move was the one to decide the outcome of the battle. His knee raised high and with malicious intent he brought the heavy boot onto Meredith who was already out of reach. His boot landed where Meredith once stood and echoed across the empty cell.

Meredith grinned shyly from the other side of the room, in her left arm she held a silver pin in a fencing position. The gnome bit his lip, letting a trickle of blood run down his chin(s). He curled his hands up in fists and waited for Meredith to retaliate.

She did.

Running towards Ardine with the needle in her hand her feet pattered lightly on the stone floor , hell bent on finishing this. She Glided through his legs and gave a swipe to his ankle, the small needle somehow cutting through the fabric and the gnomes skin. He let out a scream of pain and fell to his knee’s, through his half closed eyes he could see Meredith mid jump with the needle directed right at his eye.

The guard chuckled slightly as he watched Ardine scream and crash to to floor through the cell gate. “How do they even get drugs into here anymore?” He
asked dryly to his fellow guard. “I know this may sound like Im being a shoddy worker but if them having drugs means we get to see them flip out like this I think its worth a few deaths here and there” answered the other guard, with his eyes trained on gnome.

Somehow they didn’t notice out the woman who was wiping blood from a needle.

The first guard stared at the one who just confessed that letting prisoners overdose was okay as long as it was funny. “You are a piece of shit Ted, you know that”.